Boomstick
by NewtonLangly
Summary: Imagine Ash from Evil Dead going to NYC for a Housewares conference and finding himself in a plot to destroy humanity hatched by Demona to use the Neconomicon. A multi-Chapter series


This is a crossover of Ash from Evil Dead/Army of Darkness in the world of Gargoyles. Neither concept is mind and not used to make profit. Also any reference in NY in terms of directions was made in the author's imagination.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


It was a normal day at the S-Mart store over in Dearborn and it was a normal shift for housewares manager Ashley J. "Ash" Williams.

"So then what happened?" asked Bobby the most recent S-Mart hiree.

"Well" Ash said as he inspected the crock-pots. "That's when things got interesting."

"How interesting?"

"Well let me tell the damn story and it'll get interesting." Ash said to Bobby with such force he drop a piece of cream colored crockware onto the floor.

"Clean that up." He said to Bobby.

Bobby came back with a broom and dustpan.

"So then what happened?"

"I was on the flight when the plane ran out of coffee. But that's not important. The fact is what happened when I landed in New York City. I had embarked on something I had never did before. Well not since I had gotten my hand cut off and it tried to kill me. I had encountered something well behind the urban myths of the big apple. Bigger than Alligators in the sewers and bigger than the fact they kept Babe Ruth's genitals in a jar under Yankee Stadium."

"What was it?"

"I'm going to reach that point before you're finished cleaning."

"But I'm already done" Bobby said with the broken pieces in the dust pan.

Ash went and dropped another piece of cookware.

"You can't do that."

"I'm the housewares manager. I can do that."

  
  


Boomstick

  
  


Ash had gotten off the plane and he was in full tourist garb down to the hawaiian shirt and sandals. He got out of the airport and marched into one of the many cabs that lined the curb.

"Continental and step on it. I'm needed at a conference." Ash said confidently

The jowelly and very elderly cab driver looked at Ash. "What conference would that be?" He said in a unidentifiable Eastern European accent.

"Why it's a meeting of all the S-mart houseware managers. It's a big meeting."

"When do you need to get there?"

"Well I plan on getting to my hotel and-"

The cab driver steps on the gas and the cab shoots off like a rocket. Ash is pressed into the seat as the cab raced through the seemingly packed streets.

"So have you been to the city?" The cab driver asked as he dodged a city bus.

"Uh not really." Ash replied and in fear for his life

"Where are you from?"

"Michigan."

"Ah Michigan, mowtown and Ford."

"Yeah, pride of the midwest."

"You know my brother go and work for Ford."

"You don't say" Ash said uninterested.

The cab slammed to a halt and Ash went forward into the bullet proof shield. 

"We're here" The driver said "That'll be $23.50"

Ash got out of the cab and gave the cabbie some money.

"Here's $30 have a night on me." Ash said to him. He started walking away before the cab driver could yell obscenities at him.

Ash marched right into the hotel and dropped his bags down.

"I'm here for my reservation."

"Name?" The clerk at the desk 

"Williams"

"You're full name"

Ash rolled his eyes. "Ashley"

"Okay then" The clerk said snidely as he pounded on the keyboard.

"You guys got any of them theaters out on 42nd street?"

"No sir those have long since closed."

Ash looked a little surprised. "Well, that's good. I didn't want my vacation ruined by those places anyway." Ash was then about to curse to himself.

"Your room is ready sir" The clerk held a keycard in his hands

Ash went over and snatched with his real hand. "Groovy". He then continued his march to the elevator.

The elevator ride was nice and even caused Ash to dance a little beat to the disco beat that played over the loudspeaker.

When he got off the elevator. Ash headed right down the hall and looking forward to freshly straightened sheets and those mini bars of soap that are just not enough for a grown man to get clean with when he heard something from one of the rooms. It sounded like a combination of grunting and screaming. Ash went over to it and put his ear to the door.

"Look buddy they got ways of dealing with that. It's not that expensive."

Then the noise stopped and silence filled the hallway. Ash looked down and then faced the door. He figured what the hell and kicked down the door. However the door was opened so it just swung back at him. 

"Ow" Ash said as the door slammed into his nose. He stumbled into the room and found what was inside. He found a well dressed business man laying on the floor. His head jammed inside the mini-bar refrigerator. Ash could see that the death wasn't pretty. 

"At least he didn't open the jar of nuts." Ash said as he looked at the body and then saw the broken jar. "Damn, he did."

The cops came soon enough and Ash was wanting very badly to go to his houseware managers conference. 

"Look I need to get going." He said to a uniform officer.

"You need to wait for the Detective."

"Well what's taking him so long?"

"Well she's right over there." The uniformed pointed in the other direction. Ash spun around and was instantly smitted.

Standing there was a woman between 5'5" and 5'10". Her skin a light brown and her hair so dark it looked blue. Ash got lost in her beautiful features and was at a lost for words. He didn't even notice the NYPD Detective's Shield clipped to her jacked.

"Ashley Williams?" The Detective asked

"Call me Ash" Ash said in his most seductive voice.

The Detective didn't seem to notice. "I'm Detective Maza and I was wondering if you can answer a few questions for me."

"Ask me anything 'cept Trig I can't help you there."

"Could you tell me what happened?"

Ash was still smitten by the Detective's great looks. "Well I was going to my room when I heard some strange noises. I came in and sure enough I found this guy enjoying the mini-bar a little too much."

"I see, did you see anything suspicious?"

"With the exception of that? No."

"Okay, Mr. Williams I hope you plan to be in the city for a few days?"

"As long as you need, Detective."

Maza smiled slightly as she was aware to Ash's goofy charm.

"Enjoy The Big Apple, Mr. Williams."

"Oh I plan to. First off I'll start with the statue of Liberty and then go from there."

"Be sure to check out the History of Natural History. I hear they got a new exhibit."

"Oh really, what kind?"

"Not quite sure but it involves some kind of book."

With just that one word, a flood of memories came back into Ash's mind. He couldn't believe it. He thought he had gotten rid of that damn book. It was the book that killed his girlfriend, his love life and the loss of his hand. Although having it replaced with a chainsaw wasn't so bad. In fact it was really cool. I mean to have a chainsaw for a hand. But the fact was that book was still there. The Necronomicon still existed.

"Maybe I'll take a look and enjoy those fine dino ice cream bars they got over there." Ash said as kept his revulsion hidden

" I hear it's quite interesting." Maza said

"Well that's one person's opinion on the issue."

"Anyway" Maza said as she produced a business card. "We'll be contacting you if anything happens."

Ash grabbed the card from Maza's hand and looked into her eyes. Such soulful eyes Ash thought as he looked into them. He may have fallen in love and this time it won't end because of deadities.

  
  
  
  


For Dominique Destine, her busy work schedule as head of Nightsone Limited had been difficult. However just because her work during the day was done doesn't mean she was going to rest. 

The sun hung low in the horrizon and Destine was sitting in her corner office high above the Manhattan streets. She noticed the sun's light growing fainter on the city.

"I'll have to call you back." She said into the phone and hung up. Destine walked from her desk to one of the walls where she stood for a moment. Then a secret door opened revealing a hidden chamber. She stepped in and the door closed behind her.

Inside the chamber she was once again alone but without the fear of learning her secret which would be within minutes. Destine didn't change out of her clothes since she had many copies of the same suit at her home. Besides it didn't matter, she was wealthy enough to have well over a thousand copies of the same suit.

She came to the large window that allowed light into the chamber. She stood and watched as the sun sunk into the horizon, letting darkness once again go over the city. This was where the life Dominique Destine ended and another more ancient life again.

The change was always dramatic and was painful but she had grown to accept it. It started from within and then become outward. Bones shifted, muscle realigned and sharp stabbing pains came from her back. Her clothes were stretching and tearing and a feral and inhuman scream that would've shattered the ear drums of any one nearby pounded the thick steel and titanium walls.

And just like the change ended just as it began: Quick, painful and startling. Now standing on top of a pile of designer rags stood an ancient creature whose eyes glowed crimson and the same colored hair. This was Demona and she was once again out to get rid of humanity.

Another door opened and stood a somewhat overweight man who didn't appear shocked at what he was looking at.

"Ready?" He asked

"Of course." Demona said with an evil grin as she walked over to a massive computer and began typing rapidly as her claws clipped the keys in a rapid fashion.

The henchman stood and watched as his employer went through computer files in a blink of an eye. The screens soon stop moving and one image stood on screen. It was that of a book wrapped in a pale beige with a grotesque expression on it's cover.

"What is that?" The henchman asked

"That is what I am after." Demona said again

"A book?"

"A book of unimaginable power and it'll soon be in my possession." She once again grinned evilly.

  
  
  
  
  
  


It had been an interesting day at the conference and Ash was now on the number 3 train heading back to his hotel. He sat on one the benches reading "Your Housewares Department and You" written by a housewares manager in the southwest. It was an interesting book and had Ash captivated. He was so engrossed into the book that he didn't notice the three street urchin looking fellows walk into the car.

The one urchin who appeared to be the leader went about giving everyone on the train a dirty look. So did his two underlings. A few people looked away, others didn't notice including Ash. He just sat there and flipped pages in the book.

The lead urchin went up and down the car a couple of times before he spun around. He stood at one end of the train while his two buddies went to the other the end.

The leader went into his baggy jacket and pulled out a semi-automatic weapon and so did his two accomplices.

"All this is a robbery!" The leader shouted. "Money out now and nothing stupid."

Ash looked from the confines of his book. "Damn, I just got a wallet full of stupid."

One of the two henchmen went over to Ash and leered at him.

"What did you say?" He hissed at Ash

Ash looked back at him "I said what a wonderful day to sit back and enjoy the train." He said with an over joyful tone.

"Whatever, just keep your mouth shut! You understand me?"

"Yeah, I understand." Ash said in a snideful tone that the robber didn't pick up on.

Just as the robbers began collecting purses and wallets from various patrons the subway car began to lurch to one side and then the other. Ash looked out and noticed they were on an elevated track that crossed one of the oldest sections of the city. 

Then just after the car lurched the power went out. May of the passengers didn't even notice and then there was a loud piercing sound. The sound of metal being ripped open. 

Everyone inside the car didn't know what was going on as cold air from the outside now flowed inside the train. It seemed to be chaos and in the middle was Ash with his book still in his hands. He still sat there appearing to read even though he kept his eye on the action. He was impressed at what he saw.

The three robbers went flying as they tried to take on whatever had entered the car from the roof of the train. All Ash could make out in the darkness were the glowing eyes and loud inhuman screams. This was something he had never encountered. At least not in a subway train anyway. All Ash could do was watch as he sat there. Normally he'd get up and face down those ugly beasts but he was paralyzed in a combination of fear and awe. Something inside him told him that whoever and whatever was doing that he'd be seeing these creatures more often in the comic feature.

  
  


"Is that true?" Bobby asked Ash

"Of course it is. What you take me for some kind of liar, kid?"

"No sir. It just seems farfetched."

"Well let me tell you something. When you cut your hand off and find that hand going to strangle you, when you find yourself in medieval Europe with your car destroyed for the 27th time. You'll know what the meaning of farfetched is."

Bobby shook his head. "Can I go on a break now?"

"Sure kid. In fact I'll join ya. And after we punch out for our break I'll continue my story."

"Great" Bobby sighed.

  
  


  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
